Matt’s little book of
self-help poetry
60 moons of Saturn
the other day,
the Cassini-Huygens spacecraft found another moon
orbiting Saturn.
They called it Frank,
but might have just as easily called it
an ounce more of patience or perseverance or passion.
how often we refuse to grow unless forced.
and how often might we grow without the nag.
circling and circling in my Cassini-Huygens,
I might never have noticed that
sixtieth moon, had I not been paying attention.
Another metaphor for the same
is a keyboard:
Begin with an octave,
push outward, heading toward the distant eighty-eight.
Growth is expanding that range note by note,
sometimes quickly, sometimes less so.
And,
if we are not expanding our range we are stagnating.
What do chords look like?
How about an organ with multiple keyboards, even one for feet,
or a band or a symphony.
The limits are not even in sight.
Nor can I hear them.
Stale, Rancid, Moldy, or Rotten
Are you stale?
Have your buns gone dry? Do they leave you less satisfied?
Simply heat your bread to 140F to reverse staling,
the starch will regelatinize, and you’re good to go.
Here’s a trickier question: Are you rancid?
oxidation can be a bitch. not reversible like the staleness.
another question: Moldy?
as you know, mycelium like to eat the dead.
Among this planet’s most amazing intermediaries
carrying that which was alive
to that which is alive.
which is why they don’t often dine on that which is still with us.
Rotten?
bacteria are less discriminating about the living and the dead
but they like to play with each other for scraps,
so lets’s keep a multiplicity around.
disrepair must be reckoned with,
taken seriously, so-to-speak.
fruits
A few years ago in Sunday School,
(along with flannel-graphy and bible verse memorization and the fear of hell)
I was taught that
the fruit of the Spirit is:
love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control,
but I didn’t get enough of a living example,
the workshop stopped short in theory, and we didn’t get to the living part.
so, the other day, I resolved
to look at the fruit when considering the tree.
yes, keeping in mind that trees have seasons,
and off years, and downright grumpy periods.
none-the-less, I’ll be looking to you to find out
the quality of your Spirit-filled-ness.
chronic and acute
old-time disease chops off a few, throw in a parasite or two.
but new-fangled stress offs more of us by the hour, by the minute.
watch the kick as I react to a stressor:
blood pressure, heart rate, breathing, digestion, inflammation.
now watch after the letdown:
blood pressure and heart rate still high, try angina or stroke,
asthma, arthritis, diabetes?
all of this doesn’t even consider
the likely affects of less libido.
kindness
when grooming we opiatize our partner
some say gossip does the same.
and what of human solidarity?
we resonate with that capacity in others
language
do you agree with Poe Ballantine
that kindness can never be wasted?
How about a backrub?
We’ve Reached Peak Phosphorous
When I say such things, I get scoffed at.
Much like the scoffing in response to Peak Oil.
But I’m serious.
Serious about the peak and the need to act differently.
At a turning tipping tilting point.
The bullshit can only survive
for so long.
Before, we’ve lost ourselves…irretrievably.
internal & external
Your only safety,
says Mary Strong,
is to be within the center of your kingdom,
living from within out, not from without in.
sweet sour bitter salty umami
Kai and I were talking about food
I told him that some cooks think about flavors
is as a balance between sweet, sour, bitter, and salty
and there’s that other one, that Japanese word
that can’t quite be translated.
He inquired how spicy fit into this mix.
Good question.
And let’s consider the mouthfeel of fat.
Hey daddy, he jumped, that’s why people like lemon pepper.
Finding additions with multiple functions is a good way to go.
depression
Depression is a bullshit word
used as a bucket to throw it all in.
What we need is a taxonomy of sadness.
This here is a paper-thin sadness.
But there’s a ream of melancholia.
Check out this pile of dredge from the depths.
No, Forget the taxonomy. Sometimes categories
serve to swerve our emotions into more recognizable domains
which has the effect of denying us the feeling that first came
which also denies us the feelings that might have come after
and the ones after that.
pretty soon, we are so far away from ourselves,
that it takes a lot of work to find home again.
instead, let’s not let the words take us too far from home.
my friend Matthew
he's sensitive. damn sensitive.
which means…right now…he's volatile.
but someday soon, he'll find a way of being
sensitive without being volatile.
or,
he'll discern a means to ride the volatility vehicle
sitting safely seatbelted in the sensitivity car.
until then, or Until Then,
he'll medicate to take the edge off
the sensitivity…which (paradoxically?) pumps up the volatility.
like an overripe mango
or an atom missing one electron in it's final valence
or a stool with two legs.
Judgment
I’m judgmental.
Source natural, familial?
None-the-less, when faced with a friend,
I’m able to pluck him out of my categories,
Remove him from my stereotypes,
Withdraw him from my schema.
I can then be a true friend and face him as the person he is.
In his golden splendor rather than in his tarnished hole.
I’m the one who has the chance to limit him,
or to let him exult in the infinite possibilities of shittiness and of wonder.
I know what it feels like to sit in that chair of judgment.
And I know what it feels like to sit in a different posture…
one of openness to a wider array of who he is.
No matter who I’m talking about.
growth
Each year we have on Earth is a Gift,
a chance to grow into a more whole,
more amazing human being.
When we were 8, we were.
At 18, we’ve grown,
fired a few billion new neural pathways.
Now that we are 28 or 48 or 88,
we’ve got to be in more amazing places.
If not.
There are few with excuses.
No excuses to rest on yesterday’s truths
or yesterday’s categories or yesterday’s limitations,
instead to use our fuller capacity to think critically and tap into our wider range of emotional awareness.
What a treat when we are no longer surprised by the growth of a person.
bibliography:
501 minutes to Christ by Poe Ballantine
A different kind of teacher by John Taylor Gatto
Contingency, irony, and solidarity by Richard Rorty
Cross-pollinations by Gary Paul Nabhan
Ill Nature by Joy Williams
Lifesigns: Intimacy, Fecundity & Ecstasy by Henri Nouwen
Teaching to transgress: education as the practice of freedom
by bell hooks
The continuum concept by Jean Liedloff
The mindful brain by Daniel Siegel
The politics of experience by R.D. Laing
Walking on water: reading, writing, and revolution
by Derrick Jensen
Raids on the unspeakable by Thomas Merton
Why zebras don’t get ulcers by Robert Sampolsky
Your Inner Pharmacy by Robert Blaich
